Pass the cheese... please!

January 2007

Strolling down the boardwalk, thinking about American cheese. I may have eaten more American cheese in my life, than any other single food. I like it in a sandwich, as grilled cheese, on top of meats, and even alone right out of the package. Plus it’s fun to fold a slice over and watch it slooowly break in half. Many people think American cheese is the only food patriotic enough to be known around the world with our country in its name. Unfortunately, it’s not true. Albert Rappacioli, a friend of mine in London, tells me he cannot go into a store or restaurant in England and find American cheese. Kraft in fact confirms they only sell it in the US, and some Latin American countries. So what’s up with our food? In 230 years as a nation, plus another couple of hundred with people cooking – no dish, no dessert, no snack, has been deemed good enough to include US or American in it’s name – so that people anywhere in the world know what it is? I mean really, there are: Hungarian goulash, Swedish meatballs, English muffins, Brazil nuts, Swiss cheese, Chilean sea bass, Belgium waffles, German chocolate cake, Spanish omelets, Canadian bacon, Italian sausage, Chinese noodles, and maybe Turkey. Then there’s a battle between the Irish and the French for most foods in their honor: Irish potatoes, whiskey, coffee, cream; French toast, fries, dressing, and vanilla. I think there should be a nationwide contest to get an American named food sold around the world. Sounds like a job for Eddie Hitzel!

AMERICAN FOODS ABROAD...

Now of course, there are a couple of foods with American based names. Michael Huber, the Cranky Chef, told me he has ordered a Philly cheese steak in France. Kentucky Fried Chicken is worldwide, but they’re trying to become known as KFC, to not imply fried, so in doing so they’re losing the US state name connection. And there is one regionally named product named after the city of my birth – Philadelphia Cream Cheese. The people at Kraft told me that it’s not named Philadelphia because of where it was born. In fact, it first came into being in New York in 1880. A.L. Reynolds (the famous rapper, I mean, wrapper) distributed the cream cheese in his foil.

Apparently in that era, Philadelphia was known for quality foods, so Reynolds dubbed it with the name we know of today. And Albert confirms, he can buy it in any supermarket in England.

“SILLY STRING” TRIPS UP IED’S IN IRAQ...

And a big round of applause for Marcelle Shriver, of Camden County. Her son is serving in Iraq, and he mentioned something to her that was surprising. The soldiers needed more Silly String! Not for any parties or pranks. But for a reason that is so great, she has begun a worldwide effort to get cans to troops. It seems when they enter a house or building, there are likely hidden bombs. And trip wires, twine almost invisible, are set for soldiers to activate with a leg or foot. So they take Silly String cans, and spray before they enter a room. The goop squirts, but hardens in the air. As it falls to the ground, it’s not heavy enough to set off a trip wire, but if soldiers see it hanging, rather than hitting the floor – they know. She’s gotten donations from people around the world, and a department store in Michigan sent 6000 cans of a generic-like called Magic String. Such a simple idea, yet brilliant. Way to go, Mrs. Shriver!

THIS MONTH’S FUN WITH E-MAIL...

This month’s Fun With EMail – funny stuff that gets passed around and has recently ended up in my box – connects to the war. Let’s hope it comes true...

After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama Bin Laden made his way to the pearly gates. There, he was greeted by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yelled Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry came up from behind. "You wanted to end America's liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punched Osama in the nose. James Madison came next, and said, "This is why I allowed the government to provide for the common defense!" He took a sledge hammer and whacked Osama's knees. Osama was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, and 65 other people who had the same love for liberty and America. As he writhed on the ground, Thomas Jefferson hurled him back toward the gate where he was to be judged. As Osama awaited his journey to his final very hot destination, he screamed, "This is not what I was promised!" An angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"