Correct me... please!

June 2007

Strolling down the boardwalk, thinking about words. Since I do news every day on the radio, and since I write this column once a month, I try to use words and language properly. But maybe, not always. I was taken to task a few weeks ago; a listener called me off the air. He identified himself as a high ranking member of the local clergy, although I’m not certain that makes him an expert. But he was right about the basic question. He said I sometimes pronounce "A" as a word as if it rhymed with day or say. He insisted it should always be said as if it were, "uh". As if "The governor signed uh bill." Not with a long a. Likewise he didn’t like that I sometimes pronounce "the" as if it rhymed with "thee". Since his call, I’ve gotten to the point where I think about it as I deliver the morning news. I plead guilty to doing so, on occasion, but I don’t know if I’m breaking any language laws. Surveying friends and co-workers, the opinion is split. Many say it’s no big deal. I’d appreciate it if anyone can offer uh proper answer to thee question. Try me at JerseyGreg@Prodigy.Net and let me know.

Writer tries to stave off deadline...

I’m also fascinated by words we only use for a singular purpose, but in conjunction with something else. The word "ajar" for instance. The only time we seem to use it, is if a door is ajar.

Maybe a lid ironically on a jar, but no one says, "The lid’s ajar on a jar." What got me on this is the word "stave". I’m sure there are other times around the year it’s used, but during the NBA and NHL playoffs, sports broadcasters seem to love it: "The Nets will try to stave off elimination tonight." "The Stars try to stave off..." Maybe in ancient days castle owners tried to stave off marauders.

Otherwise it just doesn’t often come up nowadays, but I hear the sports guys overuse it in playoff scenarios every spring, and virtually for every series which is close to ending. All I’m saying is, I’d like to get more usage for stave than that. Can I say I’m trying to stave off the deadline approaching for this column?

As NJ’s budget looms, legislators take on the "R" in Rutgers...

Is there nothing more important for our state legislators to worry about than this? As you know, Rutgers University has gotten some headlines in the past six months or so. Their football team became a ranked contender, and they won a bowl game, the first in their history. The women’s basketball team lost in the championship game, but a certain talk show personality dissed the Rutger’s girls. (Did you notice Don Imus got in trouble for saying "Ho" just a week or so before everyone reported the death of Don Ho?) That led to everything from an episode of the Oprah show, to a pow-wow at the governor’s mansion. So now an Assembly committee has actually passed a resolution, "requesting" the school change its scarlet "R" logo, to include the letters "NJ", so people who don’t know where the school is, will connect to New Jersey. Come on. Notre Dame has been the most famous university in the country since Knute Rockne. Do their elected officials "request" an "IN" in their logo? What say we work on getting the budget balanced before we venture into this kind of needless timewasting.

What about the Governor speeding...?

And speaking of state government, as we know, Governor Jon Corzine was involved in his crash on April 12th, as the state trooper driving his SUV was zipping along at 91 miles per hour.

That to get him from Atlantic City, to the governor’s mansion for that meeting between Don Imus and the Rutgers women. I’m sorry but, while I think it’s great Corzine is promoting seat belt usage, now, since he wasn’t wearing his in the accident, shouldn’t there be something mentioned that maybe 91 MPH is too fast for anyone to be driving?

Or is it left unsaid to imply it’s okay if a trooper is behind the wheel, the flashers are on, and the governor is on board?

Talk about a cheesey crime...

Our favorite criminal activity last month came in our neighboring state of Pennsylvania. A truck driver needed some repairs to his tractor, so he pulled into a rest stop, and disconnected his trailer. While he was gone, someone else decided to pilfer the cargo, apparently they had a tractor too, and simply connected, and drove away. I guess it’s like the box of chocolates where you don’t know what you’re gonna get. That thief must have been surprised when he stopped and opened the back door. His haul turned out to be cheese. twenty three thousand pounds of cheese. Sure, the value of it was $14,000. But what pawn shop or fence would be ready to dish out the cash, smile, and say "cheese"!

Fun with E-mail

This month’s Fun With E-Mail, stuff that folks send around to amuse their friends and ends up in my box, is one of those amazing math questions. I’m amazed somebody took the time to learn this is possible. Try it on yourself, then test your friends, you’ll be amazed what you learn. By the way, adults only for this one. And if you give the test, let them do the math, only get the final answer.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to, ideally, have sex.

2. Multiply this number by 2.

3. Add 5.

4. Multiply by 50.

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757...If you haven't, add 1756.

6. Subtract the four digit year that you (or the person taking the test) were (or was) born. The first digit, or first two, will be the original sex number. The last two digits, will be your age, (or the age of the person you have take the test)!

Greg Maiuro is host of The Asociated Press’ Award Winning “Sports Goomba’s” radio show. The popular show can be heard on NewsTalk 1400 WOND AM on Fridays from 6PM to 8PM.