Thank you for calling tech support...my name is Steve...

July 2007

Strolling down the boardwalk, thinking about Dragnet. Of course you remember the opening, voiced by George Fenneman – the announcer for Groucho Marx on You Bet Your Life!

"The story you are about to see is true. Only the names have been changed, to protect the innocent." Do we all agree that the people who change names in real life are shady characters perhaps evading the law; maybe someone who goes into acting with something more simple; people changing sexes; and perhaps folks who are concerned their name sounds too much like a curse word? I bring this up because I had a problem with my computer printer the other day. I called the help number, and, of course, someone with a heavy accent answered. My guess was that he was in India. But gee, he told me his name was Trent. It made me realize that every time I get one of those fun "outsource" operators, they always have the Indian accent, yet they say their name is Charles, or Steven, or Chad, or Jeremy. Come on, is that supposed to fool us stupid Americans so we don’t realize we’re calling halfway around the world? What, no Mujubar, Sirajewel, or Mohinder available when I call? And thanks Trent for all the help. Twenty minutes trying to get my record figured out, including telling me my New Jersey area-coded phone number shows I live in Wilkes-Berre, Pennsyvania; then Trent discovers my printer is two years old, he can’t help because it’s out of warranty.

Sopranos ending left me wanting...

Speaking of things that recently left my head shaking, so did the finale of The Sopranos. Put me down in the column of those who felt they took the cheap way out. You can leave a storyline open for one reason: it will be resolved in the next episode, or a big screen movie. Creator/producer/writer/director David Chase has been hailed as a genius for leaving so many storylines untied. Would we be happy with Shakespeare if he didn’t end Romeo and Juliet? Dickens with A Christmas Carol? Mitchell and Gone With The Wind? Seems to me the basic ingredients of a novel, or TV show, are the open, middle, and end. We didn’t get the end. We got suspense, but the roller coaster is stuck on top of the tracks.

Goomba gets gist from Soprano star...

I had the chance to discus the topic with one of the stars, Frank Vincent, on my WOND radio show. He played Phil Leotardo, leader of the New York mob, archenemy of Tony Soprano and his Jersey boys. Before Phil, he was best remembered as Billy Batts, who ended up dead in the trunk in Goodfellas. Did you know he was a rock drummer in the 60's? Worked with Del Shannon, Paul Anka, Trini Lopez, The Belmonts.

Here then, some of my Q and A with Frank. For those who didn’t see it, Phil Leotardo met his demise when he was shot at a gas station, his SUV still in gear as his wife got out. And then it rolled...over his head. The audience heard an ugly "splat" sound...

GM: I guess we could say Phil went from the season being "hotheaded" to ending "level-headed"...

FV: Yea, or "no-headed!"

GM: Did you like the way it ended for Phil, the death sequence?

FV: I thought it was a pretty exciting way to go! Actually, he just got shot. The car running over him was an accident. It wasn’t like somebody did that to him deliberately. After they shot him, he fell down. The car was in gear. It just kept going until it rolled over his head...

GM: Did you like the series ending, and what’s been the reaction from people you’ve talked with since?

FV: Most people really got it, they loved it. They thought it was very creative, and typical of the way David Chase writes and directs. I think some people didn’t get it initially, because of the screen going black, and they were surprised by that. Then it seemed like after they saw it one or two more times, people understood what it was about.

GM: The death of Phil Leotardo can’t be good for you in future sequels...

FV: Anything is possible. They have things called flashbacks. They have things called dreams. And prequels. There’s a lot of ways to do a lot of different things. But who knows what David and HBO have in mind.

GM: How did you go from a successful career in music, into a successful career in acting?

FV: I was working in clubs. I had a partner at that time, a young man by the name of Joe Pesci. In fact we were playing clubs along the Jersey Shore. We developed a following doing music and comedy. People were coming to see us. A director named Ralph DeVito did, and asked us to read for him. We both landed roles in his film, a little independent called The Death Collector (1976). From there Martin Scorsese cast us both in Raging Bull. And the rest, as they say, is history.

GM: Your line in Goodfellas, "Go home and get your shine box," has become kind of your catchphrase. Do people bring it up to you all the time?

FV: All the time! We have tshirts and things with it available on my website – FrankVincent.com. Now we have Phil Leotardo stuff too – shirts, mugs, mouse pads, photographs. It’s amazing, we get orders from all over the country, and the world. It’s crazy!

GM: You also have a book you wrote available there, A Guy’s Guide To Being A Man’s Man...

FV: Yes, and people can get it at book stores and book websites.

GM: It’s got to have been gratifying to you and fellow cast members that people called The Sopranos the best TV show of all time...

FV: That was very widely accepted, and it was great to be a part of. I’m sure it’s not over yet. There will probably be Emmy Award nominations, Screen Actors Guild stuff. They really wrote great for my character, it was really fun to do. The writing overall was so great, the direction, the photography. It was like making a movie, every episode!

This month’s Fun With E-Mail... is a man’s view of a woman driver...

This morning on the Parkway, I looked over to my left, and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac, doing 65 mph, with her face up next to

her rear view mirror, putting on her eyeliner.

As a man, I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much, I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, my cell phone fell away from my ear, and it dropped into the coffee between my legs, that splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins. Ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers!

Greg Maiuro is host of The Asociated Press’ Award Winning “Sports Goomba’s” radio show. The popular show can be heard on NewsTalk 1400 WOND AM on Fridays from 6PM to 8PM.