Eagles Coach Andy Reid juggles problems of two families...

September 2007

Strolling down the boardwalk, thinking about families. My father died when I was eighteen months old. My mother wasn’t your typical June Cleaver. I had no brothers or sisters, and I wouldn’t call my upbringing ideal. Now, perhaps because of that experience, I don’t have a family of my own. So I’m really no expert on this sort of matter. But Eagles coach Andy Reid, who has five children, has seen two run afoul of the law. The oldest, Garrett, is in his mid-20's.

He pleaded guilty to being high on heroin when he ran a red light and crashed into another car January 30th. Same day, different incident, twenty two year old Britt, pulled a gun on another motorist in a road rage situation. He pleaded guilty too. Cocaine and marijuana were involved there.

Andy Reid took a leave of absence during the Eagles’ off season, with the intent of, literally, getting his house in order (and many thought it odd to learn both still lived at the Reid home). Last month, while awaiting sentencing, Britt broke all the rules of his bail, drove when he wasn’t supposed to, and was acting so erratically police were called, and apparently drugs were again part of the picture. At this writing, he’s been taken to jail. I’ll admit I’m becoming less and less of a fan of Andy Reid. I think it was cold the way Jeff Garcia was treated – no offer tendered after he saved the team’s season with a playoff run last year. I think it was cold the way Jeremiah Trotter was cut in training camp, despite being one of the greatest linebackers in team history, and a strong leader in the locker room.

That doesn’t mean I wish ill will on the Reid family, and I’m not trying to make light of the situation. But shouldn’t there be some concerns about how Reid handles people, both his own family and his team family?

Son gets allowance back from mom...

I usually try to keep this column light-hearted, and obviously the first item isn’t – thanks for your indulgence.

This one is, and connects into family matters. In Sicily a few weeks ago, a mother had her fill of her son’s antics. She took away his house keys, and announced to him his allowance was history too. To top it off, she hauled him to the police station, demanding they convince, "this blockhead," to behave! (And I thought only Charlie Brown got called a blockhead!) The son told the police his allowance wasn’t big enough, and furthermore, his mother wasn’t a good cook! (What? An Italian mother not a good cook? Wait, mine wasn’t either...) The mother countered with arguments that the son would go out evenings, not telling her where he was going, and then would get home late! The police played peacemakers, calmed down the two. She gave him the keys back, and agreed to resume the allowance. The pair left happily. Oh, by the way, the son in this story, he’s 61 years old!!!

Snakes, frogs and salamander's get $9,000,000 NJ taxpayer tunnel...

I’ve said before, often I feel guilty taking shots at politicians, simply because they often make it so easy.

Somebody decided the New Jersey Turnpike Authority is going to spend $135,000,000, yes in this age of budget crisis and concern, to widen the Garden State Parkway from two lanes to three, between Manahawkin and Toms River. In case you missed it, that’s $135,000,000 in this age of budget crisis and concern, for an extra lane. But wait, there’s more. $9,000,000 of that money, yes, $9,000,000, is devoted to a special portion of the project. Thirty six inch reinforced pipes will be installed across the Parkway, in tunnels dug under the surface of the road. Go ahead, ask anyone why those tunnels will be included. Have them make a hundred guesses, and see if the reason is determined.

Ready?

The reason $9,000,000 is included in the $135,000,000 for the pipes is: so that snakes and frogs and salamanders, on the endangered species list, will use them to cross the Turnpike under, instead of on top of. If that isn’t enough, here’s the best part of this story. No one is really certain how to get the snakes, frogs, and salamanders to actually use the $9,000,000 pipes!!!

Fun with E-mail...

This month’s fun with e-mail came into my box with a moral attached. That always helps...

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch, when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it, and sure enough, a genie comes out. The genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the administration clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

Poof! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the genie says to the manager.

The manager considers his options, then says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say!

Greg Maiuro is host of The Asociated Press’ Award Winning “Sports Goomba’s” radio show. The popular show can be heard on NewsTalk 1400 WOND AM on Fridays from 6PM to 8PM.